10 songs + struggles
Hi Friends! Did you miss my post from yesterday? Sorry, I decided to combine day 7 and 8 in the same blog post.
Day 7 - 10 Songs I’m loving right now
I can’t choose just 10 songs because I listen and enjoy way too much music. But I’ll share what’s been my favorite stuff to listen to.
As It Was - Harry Styles
Made You Look - Meghan Trainor
Rediscover 2000s Alternative Amazon playlist
Rediscover 90s Alternative Amazon playlist
Mellow ‘70s Gold Amazon playlist
Ghost - Justin Bieber
Rediscover 2000s Hip Hop Amazon playlist
Zombie - The Cranberries
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
Music For a Sushi Restaurant - Harry Styles
Day 8 - Share something you struggle with
The prompt for Day 8 is perfect to really reflect and acknowledge things I struggle with in life. All of us struggle in some aspect of life, whether it's with anxiety, depression, addiction, time management, or setting personal boundaries.
I am continually working to improve my well-being while dealing with anxiety and depression. I began my mental health journey in early 2016. I was ANGRY all the time - I had zero tolerance for ANY slight inconvenience. One day, I threw a chair across the dining room. From that moment, I knew something wasn’t right. I immediately scheduled an appointment with a therapist and explained everything that was going on in my life.
This therapist said I have depression. I told her I wasn’t sad, though.
Did you know depression can manifest as angry outbursts? I didn’t.
I am a “fortunate” individual who turns into a hot branding iron when I’m having feelings of anxiety or uneasiness. From the moment I found out my anger was actually depression, I understood the struggles I had in adolescence. I used to ask to go to anger management classes. Anger is something I’ve battled with my entire life.
Luckily, I have been able to work through my traumas and understand where the anger was coming from. I am happy I could recognize that I was not my normal self and I needed to get help.
I spent two years going to weekly counseling sessions, learning ways to regulate the side effects of my depression, AKA anger. I learned many self-care techniques. “Brain dump” journaling, exercise, creating a worry jar, meditation. All of these were great tools but none of them could completely rid my feelings of anxiety and depression. I wanted to try and “fix” myself without needing medication.
If you have ever met me, you may know that I am a “fixer”. I want everything to work properly at all times and if it doesn’t, I will do everything in my power to get it working again. I realize I can’t fix everything, but it makes me feel better knowing I tried my hardest to help.
I had an anxiety attack. I couldn’t do anything to make myself calm down - it was so scary. I called the doctor and spoke with an on-call physician who prescribed me a rescue medication. It really helped with the tachycardia and adrenaline bursts caused by my anxiety. This rescue medication helped me for several months - I only used it sporadically, and I was happy with how I was able to manage my anxiety and depression. Yay! Fixed, right?! Wrong…
At the beginning of the pandemic, I found myself struggling to keep up with my self-care needs. My go-to coping mechanisms were no longer giving me the boost of feel good vibes I needed to succeed. My rescue medication turned into a daily rescue. I talked to my doctor and she agreed that it was time to try an antidepressant.
After some trial and error, I am delighted to share that I have found a medication that works wonders for me! I am the happiest I think I’ve ever been in my entire life. Sure, I still worry about things, but my mood has been regulated and it feels good to have some control over something that I felt I would never be able to fix. Your mental health doesn’t magically fix itself; It takes work and time and may require new ways of caring for yourself. Do it. Care about yourself.
If you are struggling or have feelings of unease or sadness, you are not alone.
There is help. Seek it. Never give up.
Kelly happy in Paris!
Featured Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash
